As a family of three, rather than a family of four, we are confronted by our loss every moment of every day of this pandemic.
I will once again do my best to keep the day uncomplicated for my kids. I’ll keep us off social media and avoid places with Father’s Day paraphernalia plastered everywhere . But it’s going to be a complicated day.
And maybe that’s okay. Maybe even if I can’t un-complicate a complicated day, I have to remember that complicated days are followed, eventually, by easy mornings. The truth I learned as a father-less child, and the one my children are learning every day, is that sometimes complicated days build you up, even as they threaten to tear you down.
Complicated days are hard, but complicated days also, sometimes, prepare you for the next complicated day. Because complicated days don’t exist in a vacuum. And while I wish with every breath in my body that my kids had the uncomplicated Father’s Day I always wanted, it’s comforting to know they are learning to be a little more prepared for whatever tomorrow will bring.
Father’s Day will always be complicated, for me and for my kids. There’s no way to smooth out the rough edges of this day or to make the words that bring our loss to the forefront any less jagged, but we can choose to still celebrate the day, celebrate the memory and the man, and we can choose to redefine complicated in the way that brings us a little more light and love than before.
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