'Leading up to my milestone birthday, I thought about the people, especially other black men, who had never lived to see 40 because they were in the wrong place at the wrong time, or the right place at the wrong time — no matter the circumstances.'
When I turned 40, I didn’t take a victory lap to celebrate my successes in L.A. after a bumpy landing during my early years in the City of Angels. I didn’t focus on the wonderful memories I had or the deep sadness and melancholy that are simply a part of life, especially if you live and love long enough to reach middle age.
There was no big party with my closest friends. There were no escapades in France, Italy or Greece, no dancing and drinking into the night. My co-workers threw a surprise party for me at the old Times building in downtown L.A., and I had a getaway to Palm Springs for some needed me time, with Beyoncé playing in my earbuds, as I relaxed poolside.but what I actually celebrated when I turned 40 was that I hadn’t been a victim of a shooting or violence by the police.
Leading up to my milestone birthday almost three years ago, I thought about the people, especially other black men, who had never lived to see 40 because they were in the wrong place at the wrong time, or the right place at the wrong time — no matter the circumstances.#BlackBoyJoy: This is me as a toddler, from left, in Palm Springs at dinner and at my surprise 40th birthday party at the old Los Angeles Times building in downtown L.A.
Some of my friends, especially my white friends, seemed surprised or confused about why I would celebrate my 40th with these thoughts. That’s just the reality of being a black man in America, even one who grew up in the middle-class suburbs of New Jersey, often the only black kid in my classes in grade school during the 1980s.Advertisement
For the last 18 years of my career, I have spent time with celebrities, artists, stylists, writers and fashion designers and traveled the world, sitting in the front row at fashion shows and, as was the case in February, being within an arm’s reach of the world’s richest man, Jeff Bezos, at the
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