Parent of a child with special needs is tired of shock and pity from friends, and wishes they'd make an effort to understand.
To the casual observer, my son looks fine, but he is autistic and has struggled with an anxiety disorder, obsessive-compulsive disorder, attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder, etc. He has been hospitalized several times, and our life is a revolving door of various professionals trying to help him.
I am feeling torn about staying in touch with these old friends. It is exhausting to explain things to them and watch them react with shock and pity over and over. It is discouraging listening to them go on about their fun family vacations , their children’s amazing academic successes , their kids’ brilliant extracurriculars and vibrant social lives .
People of all kinds move on from friendships of all kinds for all kinds of reasons. It really doesn’t warrant deep analysis if you don’t want it to. You have other support now and warm memories of then. Good enough.Have you talked to your friends about the pattern of their behavior? Something like: “I feel as if I’ve explained this to you over and over — this is my kid’s condition, these are his limitations, it’s permanent — yet you seem surprised every time.
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