Advice | Ask Sahaj: My in-laws want us to give up our puppy

Advice: Her in-laws think she’s manipulating her husband, after they adopted a dog against his parents’ wishes.

In your question, I hear a struggle to accept the consequences of your decisions. If we are rooted in our own values, then usually it’s irrelevant what others think — as most of our decisions don’t impact them. But, in your case, your in-laws feel a sense of ownership and betrayal and are unable to navigate their emotions in healthy ways.

Consider what specific boundaries you need to put in place to protect your mental health. This may be opting out of certain conversations with your in-laws to let your husband navigate them or pulling back on how much you share with them to avoid feeling criticized. Hard and rigid boundaries may be the only way to handle your in-laws’ need for control, especially as it doesn’t seem like they are willing to budge. With that said, I know that it may not feel culturally-apt or like a desired option right now.

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