It is estimated that those with ADHD receive 20,000 more negative messages by age 12 than those without the condition. They view themselves as fundamentally different and flawed. Five things you can do to overcome shame.
Anger for Those Who Criticize
Shame causes many people with ADHD to try to be perfect. A person thinks: “If I look and do everything perfectly, I can avoid shame.” A person with ADHD who holds this belief is constantly evaluating everyone in their lives—friends, family, children—to see what they approve of and value, and gives it back to them. The person with ADHD forgets what he genuinely wants from his own life.
Shame gets in the way of asking for help — for both adults and kids with ADHD. For many people with ADHD, telling a doctor about their failures and asking to receive medication to help them succeed is unthinkable. They have tried everything, and it hasn’t worked. Many children would rather flunk than ask the teacher for help. This is why many parents feel blindsided when they discover how badly their child is doing in school. Their child didn’t tell them because it was so shameful to admit it.
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