In newyorkerhumor, a support group for former It Foods, including grapefruit, Brussels sprouts, and aioli.
: I had Ice Cream quaking in his boots!: Let’s not dwell on the past. Being bitter isn’t productive. Focus on being sweet—or savory—to move on. Does anyone have coping mechanisms or solutions that they’d like to offer?: “Ooh, I’m Cauliflower, and you can turn me into anything.” What a whore. You still taste like you—you’re not rice!CAULIFLOWERstorms out.: Bless her heart, she doesn’t know how quickly the tides can turn.
: Excuse me, I was wondering if—: Shut up! I’m sick of hearing about your problems all the time. You’re still doing well! Look at Fondue, he’s starting to congeal.: Sorry, sorry. I’m awake. All I have left these days are kids’ birthday parties, and they’re exhausting.: What you need is to be called a superfood. And aren’t you Swiss? It helps to remind people that you’re foreign so that you seem exotic.
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