Keith Thomson explains why in “Born to be Hanged”
Save time by listening to our audio articles as you multitaskReading “Born to be Hanged” by Keith Thomson, it is hard to suppress the feeling that the pirates he chronicles would have benefited from a thorough perusal of that paper when choosing their vocation. Even without the gold teeth, the two groups had notable similarities. Both faced terrible perils; both were drawn on by the lure of distant jackpots. And for both, the outcomes were usually disappointing.
Part of the problem was that “me hearties” were often much less than hearty. For all the famed drama of the pistols and cutlasses, Mr Thomson points out that “scurvy killed more sailors than storms, shipwrecks and combat combined.” These pirates spend much of their time suffering from a panoply of repulsive conditions. Poisonous plants sting them. Insects lay eggs in them. Their gums turn purple and “soften to the consistency of a sponge”.
There are some surprising moments. Some of the pirates could be thoughtful, even literary. One called William Dampier wrote an account of his trip that became an instant bestseller. His description of the New World was so rich in new terms that the Oxford English Dictionary credits Dampier for having introduced around 1,000 words into the language. It is a pleasing irony that many vegan-cookbook staples were first itemised by a pirate.
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