Lasting relationships are based on more than just passing feelings. Here's what really counts.
In this case, emotional attraction lies only within our partner; it is out of our control. Affection becomes partner-directed and less something that we create toward the partner.Values are chosen verbal constructions that evolve over time and direct our actions in a particular and purposeful way. Value-based love directs our actions toward what we find most meaningful and purposeful in our close relationships.
Further, these constructed values have the potential to generate loving actions toward our partner . These actions are not based on the traits of our partner or the fragility of our own emotions but instead on what values we have for our partner. Values only have an internal locus of control until they are acted on.
Values are deep and fundamental constructions that can override transient feelings and provide a stronger bond that is less fragile. Value-based love provides a stable compass reading even in the face of adversity for our self, our partner, or the relationship itself.1. Value-based love is more durable and sustaining than using feelings as your primary guide. Values act as a GPS navigator that directly leads to loving actions that are more stable than feelings in close relationships.
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