Instead of focusing on all of your losses and disappointments, try measuring your life by different metrics of success. Here's how.
Try measuring your life by different metrics of success.It is easy to look at the state of your life and see every moment where things went wrong: the person you lost, the goal that was thwarted, the dream that never came to fruition. Each lifetime has a roster of missteps and bad decisions, which, in retrospect, we can see were terrible mistakes.
Emptiness is a good place to start in your search for a meaningful life. Stop exhausting yourself trying to fill the emptiness with hollow metrics of success. Instead, begin to take stock of your life exactly as it is. Look for the places where it is already abundant with meaning. Begin to see that even a painful life, full of loss and disappointment, can also be a rich, fulfilling life worthy of living.
For someone who has lived with plenty, these things may seem menial rather than meaningful. But consider: many people cannot answer yes to all or even any of those questions. When considering whether you live a good life, don’t lose sight of the fact that you, and attempting to stay well. The ability to keep yourself safe in this world is not guaranteed. Don’t let this knowledge invalidate your particular brand of suffering.
Instead, consider the people that know and appreciate you in small ways. Who knows your coffee order? Who would recognize your voice on the phone? Who would smile to see you walking through the door? One of the small kindnesses of life is that even the biggest jerk you know likely has at least one person who likes her and wants to hang out with her.
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