What to do when “just ignore it” or to “suck it up” is poor advice for dealing with a difficult coworker:
, I had the opportunity to ask this question of dozens of people, and the answers usually ranged from practical to entertaining to a bit scary . Many fantasize about quitting dramatically. Others just want to tell their coworker exactly how they feel without mincing words.
To avoid giving into the desire for revenge, commit to behaving in line with your values. Sometimes it’s helpful to write them down. What is it that you care about? What matters most to you? If you’re not sure, consider looking atand see which resonate with you, listing them in order of importance. Then, when you’re coming up with a plan for how you want to respond to your insecure boss or biased coworker, refer to the list and make sure that the tactics you land on align with your values.
I don’t believe shame is helpful or productive. In fact, I think shame is much more likely to be the source of destructive, hurtful behavior than the solution or cure. I think the fear of disconnection can make us dangerous.
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