Power imbalances often emerge in relationships in areas like finances, sexual intimacy, decision-making, and other responsibilities. Here's how partners can begin to resolve them.
, reassurance, support, etc.), and the"withdrawer" evades the partner's requests, perhaps to draw boundaries without explicitly communicating them.delineates the tactics that usually underlie the demand/withdrawal dynamic. Demand tactics include persistent pursuit, such as nagging and personal insults , while withdrawal tactics involve defensiveness and making excuses, topic change, and creating distance .
To address this, a couple’s focus should be on building trust. One way to do this is to maintain agreements and practice respectful communication. It can help both partners to patiently listen and understand each other’s needs without letting their emotional reactions dictate their behavior. You can express yourself by saying something like:
"I think you are avoiding me. Can we try to find a time to discuss this issue today so that both of us feel better?” “I need a little space to process what you are asking of me. Can I have a day to myself to mull it over and we can talk about it tonight?” Establishing a mutual commitment to actively listen to each other and avoiding actions that might hurt one another is a vital first step.The distancer/pursuer dynamic arises when one partner is more emotionally invested in the relationship and takes the lead more frequently. The"pursuer" desires a deeper level of intimacy, while the"distancer" feels overwhelmed by this closeness.
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