14 Reasons Why Valentine’s Day Sucks

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14 Reasons Why Valentine’s Day Sucks
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Sorry, not sorry.

We all want to choose a gift indicative of our level of affection. And if you’re the forgetful type, that’s going to be a rubber band and a tube of Chapstick. Embarrassing for everybody.It forces you to think about why you don’t have a relationship… and you may not like what you see.

Maybe you accept a dinner invitation in lieu of staying home solo and watching an “iCarly” marathon. And at the end of the evening, your date wants to rub their flaky lips and snakey tongue all over your face. What happens if you’re not nimble enough to bob and weave? Just yuck. A boyfriend once broke up with me on February 12 and asked if he could call on Valentine’s Day, “so neither of us will really be alone.” How oddly sweet. The call never came, and I heard he was engaged to some ingenue within a month. I’m sure you’ve experienced the exact same thing.Those of us who have historically surrounded ourselves with prettier and more popular friends cannot deny that fact when concrete evidence — i.e. secret admirer love notes and serenades — comes rolling in.

The guessing game. You have to try to bore into your beloved’s brain to deduce what they’re getting you, and then more or less match its dollar value. Better to open their gift first, ask to see the receipt, and then Venmo them that amount down to the penny. Practical, but not very romantic.

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