Advice from Judith Martin, Nicholas Ivor Martin and Jacobina Martin.
When I fly, I choose the aisle seat because I don’t want to feel “hemmed in,” as I do in the window and middle seats. But inevitably, the person in the window seat in my row puts the shade down so they can sleep. This makes me feel a little claustrophobic.
Is the window occupant the sole ruler of the shade? Do I have a right to ask for it to stay open? What is the etiquette here?There are so few comforts to flying these days that Miss Manners is inclined to be indulgent on the small perks afforded to any given seat. If anyone wants access to another’s benefits, we have to work together . As long as everyone is polite, each may ask the other for whatever they like.• • •Since the pandemic, I have put on weight, and I’ve gotten a number of comments about it from workmates and friends. Some people will blurt something out thoughtlessly, but I’ve had a number of more deliberate comments that have really hurt my feelings.
To be honest, I am happier now than I have been for many years: I went to a doctor to get help with my sleep issues, I am working on my anxiety and I had some of my teeth capped. I feel better about myself now, and don’t want to be body-shamed anymore.
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