The new dream is simply no goals, just vibes
Photo-Illustration: by The Cut; Photo: Everett Collection I have abandoned the notion of ambition to chase the absolute middle of the road: mediocrity. This, unsurprisingly, comes after the past two years — two years filled with intense pandemic parenting coupled with working full time. I want to “just be, man,” and won’t let concerns like success or climbing the corporate ladder stand in my way. .
Ambition becomes a funny thing when it’s blunted by the structural inequality I faced as a woman of color in a newsroom. It takes on a jagged shape, one that seems designed to maim anyone hoping to grasp it. Yet I was still trying to grab on, inching my way up and across different media companies.
In the end, I did get a new job with a better title and more money, but motherhood had refocused and sharpened my idea of work. I finally understood time as finite and had to answer honestly to myself about where and how I was spending it. A year later, I quit my job to freelance, to spend more time existing, being a person all the time instead of just squeezing it in between commutes and emails.
By the time I was parenting a toddler and a newborn in lockdown, my idea of ambition had been permanently altered. I had to keep working to keep everyone fed and alive, and I realized I didn’t want or need more than that. I wasn’t willing to give up any more mental or emotional space to the idea that work itself was the pathway to something more. Work wasn’t my identity or my family; it was a means to an end.
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