How to appreciate all of the positives a person brings into our life without expecting perfection
The closer someone gets to another person, the more likely they are to trade in their rose-colored glasses for an unflattering magnifying mirror.This can be addressed by embracing independence, repairing ruptures in relationships, and showing appreciation.
The reasons we become overly cynical, nitpicky, or critical have a lot to do with our early lives and how safe it felt then to be emotionally close to others, to be vulnerable to them. Everything from our earlypatterns to the “critical inner voice” that formed out of experiences that hurt us in the past can start to inform how we perceive loved ones. We may try to fit them in with molds from our history, or we may feel especially triggered by things that tap into old, painful emotions.
If we notice ourselves exacerbating a situation, it’s helpful to take a pause and be curious about our reaction. We shouldn’t hate ourselves or the other person. Rather, we can offer ourselves some compassion, asking “I wonder why I’m feeling this way.” “Does this situation remind me of anything?” “Is there something deeper I’m feeling likeWhen we get too focused on the negative, we should try to step back and look at the bigger picture.
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