A husband with terminal illness has asked his doctor to end his life, but his spouse wants “more kisses, more sunsets.”
This week, he decided he no longer wants to live and asked me to set up an appointment with his doctor to talk about his death, which I did. The doctor is all for not prolonging suffering and will help him end his life.
Am I selfish to want him to, and ask him to, fight for more time together? More kisses, more sunsets, more waking up together? I think he could have another year or more, but it would be super difficult for both of us. He wants to do what’s best for me and says he doesn’t want to be a burden. Should I respect his wishes and support his decision? Would I just be postponing the inevitable at his expense? What is the right thing to do?If extending his life would not in fact be a burden for you — if instead you would welcome it — then it is important for him to hear that.I hope it’s not jarring to say, amid the terrible misfortune of his illness — what a lucky man he is, to be so loved.
At this point, to me, it is a joke because I just count how many times she says it and I think it is her issue. However, my wife says it is rude and I need to stand up for myself.Some people are self-absorbed or don’t pay enough attention when they’re meeting someone who doesn’t register to them as useful or interesting. This, I agree, is so rude. Not to mention shortsighted..
Either way, you’re right that it’s “her issue.” So either way, it’s perfectly appropriate for you to brush it off and not engage beyond “hello.” Or to bring the joke lightheartedly to the surface, especially if context says she isn’t a jerk. “Actually, we’ve met a few times. I’m working on being more memorable.”I disagree with your wife that you “need” to stand up for yourself. If you want to, then do, but this community person holds no power over you.
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