Dear Readers: Every year I step away from my column briefly to work on other creative projects. (Anyone interested in my personal essays and photographs can subscribe to my free newsletter: amydick…
Amy, I would appreciate your perspective on this situation. I wonder if he has a problem that should be reported to the board of trustees.Addressing the question of whether you are making too much of this: Do your other colleagues and clients kiss you on the lips after a business meeting? Does this director kiss male colleagues and consultants on the lips after a meeting?People who are subjected to unwanted sexual contact often wonder if they are overreacting.
There is a very common-sense boundary around business meetings, and it’s not really that challenging or confusing to stay within the boundary. Physical contact after a business meeting should be confined to a handshake.Explain in very simple language what happened, i.e., “At the end of our business lunch, when I extended my hand to shake his, Mr. Smith pulled me toward him and kissed me on the lips. I was shocked at the time, and upon reflection continue to be concerned about his conduct.
If the board handles this well, expect to revive your business relationship and work with the organization in the future.Your answer to “Kissed Consultant” was way off the mark. This consultant was kissed by a new director of the nonprofit she was consulting for, and you want her to notify the board of directors?— AppalledThis man should already know better than to pull a business associate close and kiss her full on the lips after their first meeting.
One way to educate him would be for the board of directors to let him know what is and is not acceptable professional conduct.I know you took flak for your response to the “Kissed Consultant,” who said that a male director of the nonprofit she was consulting for kissed her on the lips after a business lunch. You suggested she should notify the board of directors about this man’s actions.He talked to his boss, who apologized.
No matter what the intention might have been, this is not an affectionate or friendly act, but one that seems aggressive. It is highly inappropriate.
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